So Wrong (Heart 0f Hope Book 3) Read online

  She bit her lip. “Won’t I suffocate you?”

  “Nope, but if you did, it would be well worth it. Death by Tessa’s sweet pussy. Would you put that on my tombstone?” I helped her move until she was over my face. I inhaled the sweet sexy scent of her pussy. “Hold on to the head board baby, and let me take you to heaven.”

  She gripped the head board as I held her hips and brought my mouth to her pussy. She groaned as I ran my tongue through her folds. Then I fucked her with my tongue, her hips rocking and writhing as I devoured her pussy until she cried out and filled my mouth with her sweet juice.

  She collapsed beside me and I pulled her to me.

  “Thank you,” she murmured sleepily next to me.

  “For what?” I asked, gently caressing her as she settled in next to me.

  But she didn’t answer. She was asleep. I kissed her head. I held her, wondering what it was about her that hit me so hard in the chest. I’d never been with a virgin before. Was it her sweet innocence and curiosity about sex that got to me? Or was it something else?

  17

  Tessa

  I was disappointed that our honeymoon was only for one night, as I felt certain that once we left the fancy room and returned home to real life, Dylan would refocus on Maisie, and reiterate his claim that he couldn’t give me what I deserved. In some ways he was right. He was so adamant to never love that even as good as things were with us, he couldn’t give me himself. At the same time, it was unfair to want our time together to change his attitude, because right now the most important thing we needed to focus on was keeping custody of Maisie.

  We arrived home after picking up Maisie from Veronica’s late Sunday night. The exchange was tense. I could tell both of them had things they wanted to say, but didn’t in front of Maisie. I had to give them both credit for that. Exhausted, we all went to bed. At first, I felt a little odd climbing into Dylan’s bed with Maisie in the other room, but sleep quickly came.

  I was vaguely aware of Dylan leaving the bed. It was dark out, but checking the clock it was five in the morning. Cripes, did he normally get up that early? I rolled over and went back to sleep until later I heard him enter the bathroom.

  I got out of bed and checked on Maisie, who was sleeping in her bed. I returned to Dylan’s bedroom and entered the bathroom, all steamed up from his shower.

  “Dylan?”

  He slid open the door. “Yeah? Everything all right?”

  Water sluiced over his hard muscles, making my mouth water.

  “Yes.” I took my nightgown off, watching his eyes darken as his gaze settled on my breasts. “I was thinking about your morning routine.”

  “I wasn’t doing that this morning.”

  “Why would you when I’m here to do it for you?” I stepped into the shower and sank to my knees to worship his dick, already hard and long.

  “You’re a fucking fantasy,” he growled as his fingers thread through my hair and his hips gently pumped as I sucked him. I loved the scent that emanated from him when he was aroused. The feel of his dick, soft skin over hard steel, as it slid along my tongue.

  “Ah, fuck … Tessa.” He gripped my arms and pulled me up.

  “You’re not done,” I protested. Had Maisie come in? Did I lock the door?

  He pressed me against the tile, his fingers sliding to my pussy as he sucked on my nipple, making me cry out as pleasure shot through me.

  “I’m going to come inside you,” he said when he released my breast. “Hold on.”

  I gripped his shoulders as he lifted my legs around his thighs and thrust his hard length inside me.

  “Oh God, Dylan.” He felt so good filling me.

  “You like that? You like it when I fuck you?”

  “Yes … so much.”

  Unlike most of the times he’d had sex with me during our short honeymoon, this time he moved hard, fast, furious. His hips bucked, his dick slamming inside me, sending me racing to the edge of oblivion.

  “Come on me, Tessa,” he grunted. “Fuck … I’m coming …”

  He thrust hard and held, hitting a spot inside me I’d thought was a myth until he sent me soaring into an intense, hard orgasm that stole my breath.

  “Oh Christ …that’s it …” he said, grinding against me, and then withdrawing and thrusting again. “Your pussy is so tight … you make me come so hard … I’m filling you with my cum …” He was rambling sexy dirty words that heightened my pleasure.

  I was a boneless mess when we finished. Luckily, he held me up until I could get my bearings straight.

  “You all right?” he asked.

  “I think that’s the best way to start a day.”

  He laughed. “It’s better than beating off with my hand, for sure.”

  From that moment on, we settled into life. It was easy to love Maisie and Dylan. Our days weren’t so different from before, except that I woke in his bed and could now touch him. It felt perfect. It felt like a real marriage.

  But I was smart enough not to believe that it was destined to last. We were married to help him keep Maisie. We were two people who were attracted to each other, and while I knew I loved him, I also knew he didn’t love me. He cared for me, but he’d never let himself love me. In fact, he’d probably be angry if he knew just how much I felt for him. So I went through life acting as his wife, while living as friends with benefits. For now, it would be enough, or so I kept telling myself.

  I cared for Maisie during the day as usual. We went on outings, did activities, and played. When Dylan came home from work, we ate dinner and spent time as a family. The only thing I didn’t participate in was Dylan’s nightly routine of putting Maisie to bed. That was their time, and I respected their need to connect.

  Maisie had regular weekend visits with Veronica. Each time, Dylan was agitated. He wanted to stop all visits all together because he couldn’t help the feeling that Veronica might take her.

  “But it will look spiteful and bad at court if I stop visits, even though it’s within my rights to do so,” he’d said one night as we sat on the couch after Maisie had left with Veronica. “And Maisie seems to be enjoying her time. I can’t take that away from her.”

  “You’re a good dad, Dylan.”

  “It’s not easy. You’re more of a mother than Veronica … is that bad for me to say?”

  His words filled my heart. “I love her,” I said, wishing I could tell him I loved him too. “I’m sure Veronica loves her too. She’s just a different sort of mom.”

  He sighed. “She was always a different sort. I can’t say I wished I hadn’t been with her as I wouldn’t have Maisie, but I can see now that she wasn’t the right person for me.”

  “She’s beautiful and sexy. I can’t imagine any man, especially one in college, not being taken in by that.”

  He turned to me and pulled me to him. “You’re not wrong. But now I see the difference. She is a beautiful woman, but the way she is now, that takes work. Not all of it is real. You on the other hand …” He cupped my face with his hand and looked into my eyes. “All of you is real. And more beautiful, inside and out.”

  My heart ached, wishing he meant he loved me. Wishing I could tell him all that was in my heart. Instead, I smiled. “If you’re wanting to get lucky, all you have to do is ask.”

  He laughed. “Will you fuck me right here?”

  “See? That wasn’t so hard,” I said as I pulled him back on top of me.

  The following week, Maisie and I did some shopping, picking up a few household items as well as some outdoor summer toys. We entered a discount superstore, passing an area that took photos. For a moment, I stopped, wishing Dylan and Maisie and I could take a family photo.

  “I had my picture taken,” Maisie said.

  “Oh?” I took her hand, continuing our journey into the store.

  “My mommy took me.”

  “I bet it’s a pretty picture,” I said, trying to keep from being jealous that Veronica got the family portrait instead of me
.

  “I guess.”

  We finished our shopping and later we made bubbles in the backyard with the huge wands we’d bought. Some days, like this day, it was easy to forget that my life was fake and that a serious custody battle was being waged.

  Friday was our first court appearance. Because Dylan needed to appear to be a family man, I went along, as did Leo for Veronica.

  The tension between Dylan and Veronica was so thick, it felt like it had sucked all the air from the room.

  “Is it right that since the divorce, Mr. Hyatt has granted Ms. Tisdale visits whenever she wanted?” the judge asked. She looked to be about my mother’s age, and I hoped she was just as wise. Would a female judge be more likely than a male judge to overcome bias about mothers being the best parent and rule in favor of a father?

  “That’s correct, your honor,” Dylan’s attorney said. “When Ms. Tisdale showed up again after nearly a year of being gone, he granted a visit and has continued to do so even during this custody case.”

  I heard an audible sound of annoyance from Veronica’s side at the lawyer’s reminder that she’d been gone for a year.

  “In light of the amicable relationship in the past, I wonder why this wasn’t taken to mediation first?”

  “Ms. Tisdale is asking for sole custody,” the other attorney said. “In my experience, mediation wouldn’t work in a case like this.”

  The judge stared at Veronica’s table. “Why sole? I don’t see anything here suggesting Mr. Hyatt is doing a bad job. What I do see is that Ms. Tisdale has had limited visits. A request for sole custody doesn’t make sense.”

  I was glad that the judge was seeing reason. That had to bode well for Dylan.

  “Ms. Tisdale is now remarried and settled. She’s ready to take on the responsibilities of being Maisie Hyatt’s mother,” the lawyer said.

  “Again, I don’t see anything suggesting Mr. Hyatt isn't responsible. Why not joint custody?”

  “Ms. Tisdale has some concerns about Mr. Hyatt’s lifestyle,” Veronica’s slick New York City lawyer said.

  “What the hell?” Dylan hissed.

  His lawyer pressed his hand on Dylan’s arm to keep him calm. “Your honor, if Ms. Tisdale has an issue with Mr. Hyatt, why isn’t it in the court documents? The truth is, she isn’t in a position to know Mr. Hyatt’s lifestyle, as she’s only seen him and the child a few times over the last three years.”

  “It’s clear that Mr. Hyatt has been having an indiscrete affair with his babysitter while the child was in the home. They only married to cover it up and possibly to fool the court for this custody hearing,” the opposing lawyer said.

  Anger seethed inside me. I fisted my hands, wishing I could use them on Veronica’s smug face.

  “Single parents would never remarry if it was against the law to date,” Dylan’s lawyer said. “Maisie knows and loves Mrs. Tessa Hyatt. The truth is, Mr. Hyatt only followed his heart when it was clear that Mrs. Hyatt loved Maisie and that Maisie loved her. The fact that Maisie never talks about Mr. Baskin suggests there is no relationship there.”

  “That’s a lie!” Veronica shouted.

  “Ms. Tisdale—”

  “Leo loves Maisie.”

  The gavel sounded and the judge sighed. “Custody cases always bring out the worst in people, who often forget that the issue at hand is what is best for Maisie Hyatt.”

  The courtroom remained quiet.

  “In light of the fact that Mr. Hyatt and Ms. Tidsale—”

  “I’m Mrs. Baskin,” Veronica said. “I just use Tisdale for work now.”

  The judge gave her a hard stare, and Veronica’s lawyer leaned over to whisper something. I suspected it was to tell her to stop talking out of order.

  “As I was saying, in light of the fact that Mr. Hyatt and Mrs. Baskin were able to negotiate custody and visitation terms in the past, I’m going to order that you try mediation. I don’t want to see two parents tear each other apart if they’ve been friendly in the past.”

  We’d known that no decision would be made at that hearing, but it was a disappointment to not feel any closer to resolution. While theoretically I agreed that it would be better for Maisie if Dylan and Veronica could work out custody on their own, I didn’t see either of them giving in.

  On the drive home, Dylan was quiet. Along with being forced to negotiate with Veronica, I imagined he was thinking that marrying me was a bad idea. I was supposed to help his case, but their lawyer had suggested that Dylan and my relationship was sordid.

  “She has some nerve,” he finally said when he pulled into the driveway.

  “The judge is right; disputes have a way of bringing out the worst in people.”

  “Veronica wants the worst? I’ll show her the worst.”

  I’d always had a sense that deep inside, Dylan was a man who could be angry and dark. He never talked much about his childhood, but there’d been enough comments to make me think it wasn’t great and that some residual emotional baggage remained. The fact that he was such a calm father and caring man was a testament to his character. I suspected that Maisie was the cause of his working to smooth out the rough edges.

  But now, in his eyes, I saw true rage and a man who’d do anything to protect his daughter. There was something about it that unsettled me. I didn’t think he’d get violent or do something illegal, but I could see he’d push the boundaries of civil society.

  He turned to me. “I need to get to work.”

  “I’ll get Maisie from Corrine, and we’ll go to the park.”

  “I’d rather you stay home with her.”

  “Do you think Veronica will do something?”

  “I don’t know. I’m glad we didn’t set up for her to take Maisie on a visit today.”

  I had to agree on that. “Okay. We’ll find an activity at home.”

  “Thank you.” His voice was distant.

  “Dylan? Are you thinking that getting married was a bad idea?”

  He looked at me for a second and then turned to look out the front window. “I don’t know. But it’s too late to change it now.”

  I don’t know why his words hurt so much. I knew the score, and yet, hearing that he might regret having married me hit me at my core and something inside broke.

  18

  Dylan

  I was an asshole. The truth was, asshole was part of my nature. I’d only covered it up because I didn’t want to be like the jerks my mother had brought home when I was growing up. When Maisie was born, somehow, not being an asshole had been easier. Looking into the precious face of my child, something had shifted inside me. I helped make this perfect being, so I couldn’t be all bad, could I?

  But Veronica tapped into my inner beast. Instead of taking it out on her, I’d said something to hurt Tessa, a woman who was only trying to help me. But my rage was sitting too raw, too much on the surface to deal with it, so I left her to care for Maisie while I went to work.

  One of the benefits of owning a gym was the ability to workout whenever I wanted. For me, working out was a way to cope with anger that coursed through my body, wanting to strike out. After a hard three-mile run on a treadmill, I lifted weights and climbed the climbing wall, which always helped me focus and balance.

  I felt calmer, but there must have been something in my demeanor, as most my staff avoided me except for my manager, who’d acknowledged my court visit that day in a way that showed he remembered it, but didn’t require me to go into detail about it.

  When I got home, I walked into the house to a cheerful Maisie and agreeable Tessa, as usual. In fact, anyone looking at us from the outside would have thought we were a normal family. But I could feel the hurt in Tessa. She tried to hide it with her smile and normal behavior, but I saw the pain in her eyes. I decided I’d apologize when Maisie went to bed, but when I went to find her, she wasn’t in the living room. Had she left?

  I found her in bed, on her side facing the wall. I came to sit on the edge of the bed, hoping she wasn’t
fast asleep.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  She rolled to her back. “For what?”

  She knew for what. She was only acting like it didn’t bother her, because let’s face it, this marriage was supposed to be a farce.

  “For what I said earlier. About getting married.”

  She shrugged. “You thought this marriage would help your case, and Veronica turned it against you. It’s only natural to question it.”

  I wanted to touch her, but didn’t feel like I had the right to. “It’s nothing to do with you.” The minute the words were out, I realized how awful they sounded.

  Her jaw tightened and I looked into her eyes to see if I was making her cry.

  “I’m so fucking bad at this. You’re great, Tessa. The problem isn’t that it’s you. It’s how it all looks.”

  “I understand. We did this to help your case, but if it’s hurting you, we can just end it.”

  Hell no, I yelled out in my head. “No. That would look suspicious. We need to carry on like it’s real.”

  “Okay. Whatever you need me to do.” She said all the right things, but there wasn’t any effect. It was like she was going through all the motions, but had turned off her feelings.

  I stared at her, wondering how such a sweet woman was willing to help me when all I did was cause her pain. “I always seem to hurt you. I don’t want to, Tessa.”

  She mustered a smile. “I know. This whole thing is hard on you. Don’t worry about me. This is about Maisie. Focus on her.”

  I closed my eyes as guilt and gratitude mixed. Why couldn’t Veronica be more like Tessa? Why couldn’t she put Maisie first? Why couldn’t she compromise?

  The next few weeks, our lives were as they had been the first few, except without the sex. That was fine, because while I wanted her so bad it made my eyes cross, I knew that continuing a sexual relationship would only complicated things between us. Tessa was young, and while she said she understood my stance on not loving again, pretending to be a family, sexual interludes included, could blur the lines. I’d hurt her enough. I’d asked for too much. So at night, I stayed on my side of the bed and tried not to feel too bad when she didn’t show up in the shower with me in the morning.