Admit You Love Me: A Secret Baby Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 2) Read online

“Maybe but it’s not who I am. I hate being this desperate. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep this up in any case.”

  It wasn’t who she was, she was being honest about that. She was a mother, a widow whose sod of a husband had left her penniless with a young child. She needed money, everyone needed money. She was just doing what she had to do in order to survive. I had been to Belshire and I didn’t think the job opportunities there were that abundant. She needed money fast and not in the amounts that the local Tesco was going to give her for a few shifts a week. By all accounts, her husband probably left her in debt as well. I tightened my embrace.

  “Desperate times. Don’t be upset. I know it’s not you. You’re just pushed by circumstance. You’re a good person.”

  “Am I?” she asked, chuckling through her tears.

  “You’re good, you’re kind, you’re a good mother, Eddy.”

  She sniffed. “That’s a high endorsement.”

  “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” I said. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes, her cheeks, and nose red. It wasn’t enough to just tell her. I had done this to her. She had held onto this secret because her life depended on it. I wanted her to depend on me. I wanted her to know that she was safe with me. I cupped her face and kissed her.

  She responded, softening in my hands. I pulled her in, gathering her into my lap, her thighs on either side of my lap. She was wearing a dress, so I ran my hands up her thighs and ass. God, that body. I loved every part of her. I needed her so badly in every way. I hooked my hands under her thighs and stood, lifting her. She squealed, wrapping her arms around my neck.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  The bedroom. She was ready and I was. I had something to prove.

  24

  Edwina

  We tumbled onto the bed. Crying to fucking in a matter of minutes, who knew I had the range? Niall roved over me, lips covering my skin in kisses. I closed my eyes as he disappeared under the skirt of my dress and kissed my mound over my underwear. I sighed. How was it that I had had more and better sex with him than I had had throughout my marriage?

  I raised my hips, so he took my pants off. I took it a step further, pulling off the dress. He watched like he was hypnotized as I took my bra off and my breasts swung free.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said. I felt a blush spread across my chest and cheeks. I felt beautiful when I was with him. He attacked my nipples. My giggles turned to moans, he didn’t bother kissing down my body and letting it build, he jumped right into it, lashing my clit with his tongue. I grabbed for him, fisting a handful of his hair. He worked systematically, playing me like an instrument. His hands came up to my breasts and toyed with my nipples.

  His every touch was exact, right where I needed it to be. He knew just what to do to make me come. He had mastered my body in the handful of times that we had been together which made it that much harder to stay away from him. When my orgasm hit, I saw stars. I bucked off the bed, trying to edge away from his tongue and the stimulation.

  He raised his head, looking at me from between my legs with a satisfied look on his face.

  “Was that alright or should I go again?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I should walk out of here for that.”

  “Not so fast.” He rose, taking me by the hips. In one swift motion, he pulled me to the edge of the bed, and in another, flipped me onto my stomach. It happened so fast, I was only brought back to realization when his hand cracked across my ass in a firm slap. I jumped, relishing the sting.

  “Harder,” I whispered. He acquiesced. I bit my lip, gripping the bed linen. In an instant, I felt his cock against my opening. I pushed back against him as he pushed forward. I gasped. He felt incredible, slipping in and out of me. He took my arms, holding them behind my back by the wrist and plowed into me.

  I was in bliss. He was hard and rough and oh so raw. I had to bite back tears, not because he was hurting me. He was using his body to show me everything he said. He was telling me I was beautiful, that he wanted me, loved me. I couldn’t hold back. I screamed into the mattress as I came. My body shook as Niall had his own orgasm. I barely registered Niall moving us both onto the bed as my body recovered from the intensity of the orgasm. This felt so right but I knew that that wasn’t the case. This was the last time. I couldn’t do it anymore.

  Say that again and maybe this time you’ll listen, I thought.

  I was a wreck. I kept ending up here thinking I would get different results and that was never the case. Every single time, I was back here, worse than the last time. I wriggled out of Niall’s grasp and sat up on the bed.

  “What are you doing? Where are you going?” he asked.

  “I’m just going to the toilet. I’ll be right back.”

  “Thought you were doing another runner,” he said, sighing.

  “If I said I was, would you stop me from going?” I asked.

  “I couldn’t do that. I would try, of course, but I couldn’t make you stay unless you wanted it.”

  Oh, I did want it. He couldn’t even begin to understand how much.

  “Be right back,” I said, trotting off to the bathroom. Once inside, I splashed my face with water and took a few deep breaths. Tonight was tonight. It was a wash, there was nothing I could do at this point but, well, enjoy it. It was going to be the last night before I returned to real life and had to face down my problems like an adult.

  That was encouraging. How long would this night with Niall tide me over?

  The rest of my life. It would have to.

  I walked back out to the bedroom and got into bed. Niall immediately wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close. I breathed him in. Sweat, a bit of musk, and the scent of his cologne. In the future, that smell would send me right over the edge. There was part of me that was never going to be the same after this and I was okay with that. I’d deal with that when the time came.

  “Are you asleep?” he asked.

  “Yes. Leave me alone,” I said. He chuckled and cuddled me closer. There were other rooms in this suite, I didn’t have to do this to myself, but I knew that I was going to. He was the one. It was so loud in my head that I couldn’t ignore it. He was it. I would never again be in love the way I was now. I had to be okay with that. Tonight, I would enjoy this. Tomorrow, when I got back home, the circumstances alone would make me snap out of it. For now, I was enjoying this. He knew the truth. It was all on the table. Well, almost all on the table.

  No, I pushed it back far enough for me to ignore it and allowed myself to drift off to sleep. I was alone when I woke up. I sighed, closing my eyes again. This bed was amazing, I didn’t want to get up. My bed back home wasn’t the most comfortable. The mattress needed changing and unlike the lush décor in this suite, my room looked like hell. All the pictures and furniture were gone save for the bed. It wasn’t a particularly nice one; old fashioned in a garish and tacky way rather than something vintage and beautiful. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I shouldn’t have gotten so used to this that I didn’t want to leave. I recalled the promise I made to myself the night before. This part of my life had officially come to an end. It hurt my chest to think about. I opened my eyes.

  “Eddy?” Niall walked into the room. “Awake?”

  “No,” I grumbled. I didn’t want the day to start because that meant I would have to go home.

  “I got us breakfast, babe, wake up.”

  Breakfast? I got up, letting my eyes adjust to the light. The final supper, only in the morning, and nobody had betrayed me except myself. The last delicious gourmet meal that I didn’t have to cook before I went home again. I popped into the bathroom and took a quick shower, walking out to the dining area in a robe. Niall was waiting for me.

  “You didn’t start?” I asked.

  “I’ve had coffee,” he said. I sat and he started heaping food onto my plate. I thanked him because it all looked amazing. Between the fresh fruit, pastries, sausages and warm toast, I was spoilt for choice. I t
hanked him as he filled my cup with coffee.

  “I should catch an early train today to head back home,” I said.

  “Train? Don’t bother. Let me drive you.”

  “Really?” I asked. I thought he would just feed me and let me go now that he knew the truth. I was broke and near-destitute, what did he want from me anymore? I wasn’t the woman that he thought I was. Yesterday he said all the right things when I was upset but now, in the cold light of day, who was to say that he wasn’t just trying to pacify me enough to go to be with him again one more time?

  I didn’t want to think that he was that kind of man, but he was another kind. He was rich. He was connected and he knew people who knew about what had happened between me and Russell. Being seen together would bring his stock value down, so to speak. I just wasn’t a suitable match for him anymore.

  Anymore?

  When was I ever a potentially suitable match for someone like him?

  Already, I was forgetting my resolve from last night.

  “I don’t mind,” he said.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not? The train might be faster, but I don’t mind taking you. When’s the next time I’m going to see you?”

  “I don’t think that's a good idea,” I said again.

  “Why not?”

  “Why? Why do you still want to deal with me? Why are you still talking to me? You know everything now. I’m not one of you. I’m a penniless, single mother who’s one step away from destitution. Is that who you want to be associated with?”

  He sighed and looked at me like I was failing to understand something very simple. “I don’t care about what’s going on in your life right now. I mean, I do care. I want to help you but I don’t think being in financial straits is anything to be ashamed of. Is that what you think of me? I don’t care how much money you have or don’t have. I don’t care that you have a child with another man.”

  “The people you associate with would care.”

  “Who on earth do I associate with?”

  “People with as many titles and as much money as you have.”

  He shook his head vigorously. “Fuck every last one of them. Do you think this is about the money? I couldn’t care less about money.”

  “What about the watch?”

  “The watch was just the one I happened to be wearing that day. It wasn’t an heirloom. If you told me that you had sold it already, I wouldn’t have cared because it was never about the watch. It was always about you. I wanted to get to you, and I used the watch to do that. If you want it back, I can give it to you. I’ll write you the check for it, for anything you want. I don’t care about the money, I want you, Eddy.”

  His blue eyes were looking back at me earnestly and he had just repeated his sentiments from last night but all I could think about was how I had gotten Missy to lend me money because I thought I had pawned a precious heirloom. “You lied to me about the watch?”

  “I’m sorry for doing that but I couldn’t think of anything else I could do to get close to you. I came to Belshire for you. It’s the same reason you’re here now. I want to be with you, Eddy.”

  “You know that’s impossible.”

  “But why? Tell me why we can't make it work?”

  I had just told him why I was undateable and he wasn’t listening. I was still upset about the watch, but he wasn't letting up as I pushed him away. He was asking me to reconsider. He was asking me to give him a chance. What the hell was this picture? Why was a man as eligible and gorgeous as him asking me to be with him after I said no? Me with a child, no money, and not a lick of common sense? This should have been the other way around.

  “I…”

  “You don’t feel the same way?” he asked.

  “No. I do,” I admitted. It made my heart pound saying it out loud.

  “Then why can't we make something work?” he asked. Because I had a child and that child was his. Once he was around Riley long enough, he was bound to find out. Prue would find out too and that would open the Pandora’s box.

  “I don’t know if I’m ready to get out there again.”

  “You seemed ready last night and every time we’ve been together before that,” he said.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s different.”

  “Is it? You said you feel the same way.”

  “I don’t think my son is ready to meet anyone.”

  “We can take it slow, as slow as you need. You dictate the terms.”

  “I don’t think that’s going to work,” I said.

  He sighed. “Can we talk about this more on the way to Belshire?” He got up, done talking, and done eating. I looked at the food, not as hungry anymore. I didn’t follow him, sipping at my coffee until it was cold already. When I got up, I went back to the room, he was half-dressed, putting clothes into a bag. Niall and I were having a slumber party, or at least he thought we were.

  I had to cut him off.

  25

  Niall

  Eddy was quiet for most of the ride to Belshire, only speaking when I spoke to her. I looked over at her in the passenger seat. Head turned, looking out the window. Her whole body angled away from me. She was sitting in the corner of the seat so she was physically as far away from me as she could get. It didn’t take a body language specialist to tell me she was uncomfortable, and the cause of her discomfort was me.

  There was something she wasn't telling me. There had to be more of a reason why she didn't want me. She did want me. I could state that as a fact, without being big-headed about it. Eddy wanted me, but something was holding her back. I had tried to get her to tell me, but she wasn't letting on. All that stuff about not being ready wasn't a problem. I wasn't asking her to marry me next week, I just wanted to be with her. We didn't have to put a label on it or anything, I just wanted to know that we were together.

  I looked over at her, her eyes still trained outside the window.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “What?” she looked over at me. We were still about an hour out of Belshire. Before leaving London, we had made a stop at the shops to grab a few things. I had offered to pay but she had rebuffed me, as I knew that she would. I still tried though, and I was going to try again the next time we were shopping together. Now that the truth was out, she should have been more comfortable around me, but she wasn’t and that had to change.

  “I said, what are you thinking about.”

  “Nothing. Just some repairs that I have to do around the house.”

  “Repairs?”

  “Yeah. A couple of plumbing issues that need fixing. Of course, I can't pay anyone to take care of it, so I need to figure out how to do it myself.”

  “You know,” I said, “I'm actually quite handy.”

  She laughed. “No, you're not.”

  “I am. I could take a look at whatever the problem is and fix it.”

  “No, you could not. What are you going on about? I bet you've never even held a hammer in your life before.” That was true, but I could learn, how hard could it be? These days, you could learn how to do anything online.

  “It might be good to have a man around the house.”

  She scoffed. “I used to have a man around the house, and he was just as handy as you claim to be.” That might have been true. Yes, Russell and I probably had the same skill-level when it came to fixing things around the house. One of us was a drunkard gambler who was dead now and never really loved her anyway and the other was a drunkard gambler who wanted to give her the world. Like night and day; the two of us. I was a little offended at the comparison.

  “Once I'm there, you're going to wonder why you didn't invite me earlier. I'm telling you, I'm an asset.” She didn't believe me, but she was laughing instead of giving me the cold shoulder, which was good. It was progress, however small. She had proven that it was going to be a marathon with her, not a sprint and I was taking every little win as it came. “I'm telling you, I'm not like
that man you used to be married to. I can actually put my money where my mouth is.”

  “Okay, first of all, even if you were to stay in Belshire for any amount of time, it wouldn't be in my home.”

  Not ideal, but I understood. I could take it. Being in the village meant I was a maximum of fifteen minutes away from her at any given moment. Being in London meant I was hours away from her, and a long-haul drive to get to her. If I was in Belshire, I could see her every day no problem.

  “What about in that little cottage I stayed the last time?”

  “If you are staying in Belshire for any amount of time, you are going to have to arrange your own accommodation. Sorry.”

  “Okay, okay. I'm just saying. You might want me close. I'm handy around the house and I can help you out with the gardens. No offense, but I've seen the state of them.

  She laughed. “Now that I would have to see to believe.”

  “I'm a rugged outdoorsman, don't you know?”

  “If you are a rugged outdoorsman, then I'm the queen. I bet you couldn't tell the difference between a head of lettuce and deadly nightshade.”

  “Of course, I can, they're all very clearly labeled at the supermarket.”

  “Right, right. And I suppose you know the difference between rosemary and thyme?”

  I shrugged. “Is one of them more expensive than the other?”

  “No, both of them would be free because, never mind, you'd be hopeless in a garden. I bet you've never even mown the lawn.”

  Of course not. There were always people who did that. I never felt bad about how privileged my upbringing had been. I was incredibly lucky, and I wished that more people had the access and opportunity that I had had. The truth though, was that if Eddy wanted me to mow her lawns then I would figure out how to do it. If she wanted me to knock the entire house down and build it up again brick by brick, then I would figure out how to do that. I had never been more serious about anything in my life. I was ready to put it all, everything on the line to be with her.