Admit You Love Me: A Secret Baby Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 2) Page 16

  “Well, I'm great with kids. You were scared about introducing Riley to new people. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Is that so? When was the last time you were around a child?”

  I had to reach pretty far back in my memory to recall. Thinking about it, the last time I had been around children for any significant amount of time was when I was also a child. There were a couple of times that I had met Brenna and Charlie's kids, but that was it. it wasn’t so much I had a quarrel with children; it was that in my experience, they were noisy, dirty and out of control. “Oh,” I said remembering. “I was at a restaurant recently and there was a particularly annoying one causing a ruckus and his parents weren't putting a stop to it, so I did.”

  “You disciplined someone else's child?”

  “No, I asked the waiter to re-seat the child and his family somewhere far away from me.”

  Eddy laughed. “There is no way I'm introducing you to Riley.” I had already kind of met him in a way. He didn’t seem like the annoying ones that I came across from time to time but she was right, I didn't know the kid and the kid didn't know me. Who knew how that would work? I wanted to find out though.

  What did it even mean to date a woman who had a child from a previous relationship? In the past, I had never been with a woman who was also a mother… if I had and didn’t know it, she had never mentioned having a baby. Maybe I couldn’t empathize because I had never been in the same position, but I had the depth to understand, as much as I could, anyway. Every child was their parents’ first priority. I was going to be playing second fiddle to the four-year-old and that was okay. I wasn’t jealous of a little boy.

  That little boy was part of her life and that meant he was going to be part of mine too. The thought of fatherhood made me a little dizzy, but like I said, we were taking it slow. Even when Eddy and I did get together, Riley wouldn't immediately start calling me dad or anything. It would take some time and I had time. I was giving this as much time as it needed.

  “Give it time, you'll be singing a different tune soon.”

  “I highly doubt that.”

  “Give me a chance. It's the best bet you're ever going to make.”

  “My gambling days are over, let me tell you that.”

  “With me, you will definitely win.”

  “You're ridiculous,” she said. The atmosphere in the car for the rest of the ride was easy and light. I was almost sad when we entered the village that it was over, and we were going to go our separate ways. When we finally came out to the estate, I parked the car outside the house.

  “So, what do you reckon? Are you inviting me inside?”

  “I am not, and you're not staying here.”

  “None of my convincing worked?”

  She sighed. “If I was the only one in the situation, if my feelings were the only things I had to consider, then maybe I would be letting you in, but that's not the case. I have to think about Riley. I can't have him getting used to someone, even beginning to love them and then having them walk out of our lives again. Don't forget that he just lost his dad.”

  I had also lost a parent as a child, albeit older than Riley was now. My father never brought any women into his life though after my mother passed away, and that was probably for my sake. I couldn’t help feeling slightly impatient though. What was the worst that could happen? It felt like a soft rejection, her using her son to keep her distance. The child needed time since he was probably grieving but who needed more time? Was it him or was it actually her?

  “I understand that,” I said, swallowing that little bit of resentment. Eddy didn’t deserve it. I was here because I wanted to be, and I couldn’t rush her into accepting that when she was on a different timeline. “I don't expect to be introduced to your son so soon. I want us to date.”

  “Date? Do you even know how to date?”

  “I might be out of practice, but I know I can. Are you turning me down?”

  “No, but you live in London. Wait, you don’t even live there, you live in New York. You want to date long distance?”

  “Who lives in London? New York? Never even been there. I live in the beautiful countryside village of Belshire.”

  She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? Well, you don't live here, so where do you live?”

  “There's got to be a hotel or something close by. I'm sure I saw an inn.”

  “So, you're going to stay here so that the two of us can date?”

  “That is exactly what I'm going to do. We can see each other every day, or just as often as you feel like seeing me. You have complete control over everything. We can take it as slow as you want.”

  “Anything you find here in Belshire is going to be well below the five-star accommodation you're used to. I'm sure there are no stars that exist in Belshire in fact.”

  “All I need is a bed and a working toilet.”

  “I don't believe you,” she said.

  “Believe me, babe. I'm deadly serious. Meet me tomorrow for lunch at the tavern.”

  She shook her head giggling. “In advance, I am so sorry for what you're about to face.”

  And what was that? What could possibly go wrong? I had spent the night in her abandoned caretaker's cottage and survived that. I'd put myself through much worse for her. The cottage wasn't even half bad, just a little dusty. When the time came that she finally let me move in, we could tear it down and build a new one. Or we could just renovate the current; whatever she wanted. Whatever it took to make sure the estate stopped looking derelict and depressing. It must have been depressing just living there. Russell’s ghost probably banged on the walls at night.

  “I can handle it.”

  “Sure. Sure. Let's see how long you last.” She got out of the car.

  “I'm going to last as long as it takes.”

  “If you say so,” she called.

  “Wait, Eddy.” I came out of the car and dug in my back pocket for an envelope. She took it looking at me quizzically.

  “What is it?”

  “Open it.” She did and peered inside. Thirty thousand pounds. All hers, no strings attached. Her face immediately twisted.

  “Niall.”

  “It's yours. You won it. It's what the watch was worth, and you won the watch. The appraiser swindled you out of your money and I made you give the watch back because you thought it was an heirloom. The money is yours. Take it.”

  She still looked reluctant. “Eddy, for once. This is a gift, please take it.”

  She looked down, closing the envelope. “Thank you,” she finally said.

  “Pay back whoever you owe and use the rest on yourself.”

  She walked up to the house without a word. One of these days I was going to get her to take my gifts without complaining. I would be walking into the house with her and she would never push me away when I told her that I wanted her again. One of these days. Soon.

  26

  Edwina

  Riley was nowhere in sight when I opened the door, thank God. If he was and managed to see Niall's car, he would've come running out, demanding to be taken for a ride. Niall, bless him, wouldn’t tell the boy no. How long before Niall figured out the truth if that happened? I checked the window to make sure that Niall had left. I still couldn't believe it even though we had just had the conversation. What was the man thinking? He didn't mean it. He wouldn't last a day let alone as long as it took for something meaningful to grow between us. Look at you, I thought, actually thinking about it.

  It wasn't going to happen.

  That was one thing that I absolutely could not allow, under any circumstances. It didn't matter how much I wanted it. Riley hung in the balance and he was too precious.

  I walked through the house calling for Prue and Riley.

  “We are upstairs,” Prue called. I went up the stairs and opened the door to Riley's room where the two of them were seated on the floor, Prue with an open book on her knees and Riley curled up next to her looking into
the pages. He jumped up when he saw me, rushing up for a hug. I cuddled him to my chest. I needed to stop leaving him so often. I missed him so much.

  “What were the two of you up to without me?” I asked him. “Thank you so much for watching him,” I said to Prue. One of the things I had never compromised on was Prue’s salary. I had found her here on the estate when I married Russell. She was like family and didn’t seem to have any of her own. I felt like she was partly my responsibility since truly, I didn’t know what I would do without her.

  “Not a problem at all,” she said getting up off the floor. It was. It really was. It wasn't fair leaving Prue with my son all the time to go gallivanting in London. That chapter was closed now. Well, firstly, Niall was in Belshire now. Not that I ever prevented him from leaving. If he did want to see me, it was according to my schedule. I thought about him trying to get a room in the village. I thought of him trying to sit and have a conversation with one of the people who lived here; simple living country folk with whom he had nothing in common. He had a bachelor pad in New York? Well, they had watched Friends on telly. He was a jet setting young Earl? The furthest place they had been on holiday was Cornwall.

  What on Earth was he thinking? He was going to be miserable. He was going to hate it and hate me for ‘making’ him come here. To hell with it. It was his life and if this was what he wanted to do with it, then more power to him. If anything, it would probably give me a few laughs here and there watching him try to live below his usual stature.

  I took the book and took over reading the story to Riley. After a couple of stories, we went out for a walk around the grounds. I would miss the land if I had to sell it off. The grounds were always so tranquil and having an energetic young child, the wide-open space was great for him to run around and tire himself out. It was everything Riley had known his whole life. I couldn’t see us in a tiny city flat but who knew? After the money that Niall had given me had run out, maybe a place like that would be our new address. Maybe by that time I would have a job.

  “What were you doing in London, mummy?” Riley asked, trotting by my side. Well, I got caught up in a scheme to exchange a watch for some money which ended up with me telling the man I had been sleeping with the truth about my situation.

  “After spending some time with your Aunt Missy, I had to get some shopping done,” I said instead.

  “Can I come next time?”

  “I'll take you next time, when you're a little bit older.” When I had the money to justify going. When Niall was no longer there and there was no chance of us running into each other. It had happened too much already, I wanted to make sure there was an ocean between us before I ventured back to anywhere he frequented. There were so many chances for Riley to have fun in London and I never took him. I felt a little stab of guilt. Riley deserved so much more. I thought of the money from Niall, resolving to put some aside to get Riley something nice.

  “Are we going to take the train or are you going to take a car?”

  “Train most likely.”

  “I like cars. Are there fancy cars in London?”

  “There are loads of different kinds of cars in London,” I said laughing. “There are green ones, blue ones, big ones, little ones.”

  “Are there ones like that fancy man's car?”

  No, not that many people in London drove Aston Martins but I told Riley that if you kept your eye out, you could probably spot one. I put him to bed that night and we spent the next morning together as well. Taking care of him went a long way as far as keeping my mind off of Niall. Being that much closer, I thought about him about much more. Hopefully he wouldn't decide he wanted to surprise me by showing up at the estate. We never actually went over any boundaries. What would they even be?

  No coming to the estate unannounced. No fraternization with my son. No sex? How long would that work? I knew how I got around him and very few of our encounters had not ended up with the two of us naked. He wanted this to work but I didn't. Him getting too close would end in disaster. We were having lunch together and I was already dreading what that meeting would look like.

  Just keep your expectations low, I thought. That way, there was no way to disappoint myself. A successful lunch would be one where he ended up driving back to London. I wasn't even sure whether he had survived the night. Had he managed to get a room at the inn? Or was he staying elsewhere? It wasn’t like he had that many options. The housing market in Belshire wasn't exactly booming. Most people who lived here had done so for at least the last sixty years and new additions were rare. My house was likely the grandest one in the village which was really saying something.

  I headed out of the house walking to the tavern. I didn’t feel the need to drive the short distance. I wondered how Niall had fared during the night. The inn wasn’t that bad, but I had heard some horror stories. Since I had never stayed there, I couldn’t confirm or deny the claims. There were rooms available at the tavern, but I had heard close to nothing about them.

  Prue once told me that a man who had ended up being arrested for murder had come through the village and stayed there briefly but that was it. How was that for Belshire’s claim to fame? Should I have let him take the caretaker’s cottage? I felt a little guilty all of a sudden. Maybe he headed out further to a town nearby to get some better housing. I wouldn’t be surprised. I wouldn’t be shocked if I got to the tavern and he didn’t show up at all. That, honestly would be the best case scenario.

  Walking down the road towards the tavern, I noticed his car parked by the side of the road. Okay, okay, so he was still there. That was just one night though. I should have made a bet about how long he would last trying to do this. I had very little faith in him, but it would be interesting to see where this all ended up.

  A relationship with you, that was where he thought this was ending up. Do you know what? I should have been the one standing him up. There was no way that this could work out. We couldn’t be in a relationship. We couldn’t date like he wanted. We couldn’t do it.

  So, what was I doing? I got to the door of the tavern and stepped inside. I couldn’t seem to help myself when it came to him. Once inside, I scanned the seats for him, surprised when I spotted his blond mop. I walked in slowly when he waved me over. He was looking at a menu, seeming very much at home. Too at home. He got up and hugged me when I got to his table.

  “You… survived,” I said.

  He laughed. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

  “I’m more surprised than anything,” I said.

  “I wanted to have some flowers here when I saw you but there isn’t one florist in this whole village.”

  “Well, that’s Belshire for you. I bet you miss London.”

  “Not even a bit,” he said.

  “Where did you sleep?”

  “I found some rooms here at the tavern, actually so I didn’t have to go to the inn.”

  “Oh, really. How’s that working out for you?”

  “It’s quite noisy. I didn’t get to sleep for a while. I think the building is old, so it creaks,” he said.

  “Right. It’s old.”

  “I’m sure I’ll get used to it.” I was hoping that he wouldn’t. I wanted the sheer dereliction of the village to send him running back to London. I wanted him to feel so ill at ease that he went running back to the presidential suites and room service that he was used to. No, not far enough… until he ran back to whatever debaucherous bachelor pad he lived in in New York.

  “Any rats? Drafts? Ghosts?”

  “It’s a bit cold. The mattress is thin. The curtains are full of holes but it’s alright I think, as I’m on the first floor. No one can see inside anyway.” My god, poor thing. I almost felt sorry for him, but discomfort was a good thing right now if it made him want to leave.

  “Sounds awful.”

  “It's not that bad. There was a bit of a smell.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “A what?”

  “It’s some sort of mildew or something in the
bathroom but it’s alright. Not too bad.”

  “That’s no way to live,” I said.

  “It’s fine, truly,” he said, looking down at his hands.

  “Are you sure?”

  “It’s a… an experience you know? I’ve never done this before, no harm in trying.”

  “Not yet ready to give up?”

  “I meant what I said yesterday,” he said, looking at me straight in the face. “I’m choosing you and everything that comes with. Even the drafty room upstairs.” I stared at him open-mouthed. What was it going to take? I was flattered, to be sure. But I wanted him to get fed up and leave, not to suddenly gain a new lease on life and embrace countryside living. My pulse kicked because that was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me. He was making this harder for me. I picked the menu off the table to change the subject.

  “Should we eat?” I offered.

  “Let’s. I had a steak pie last night and it gave me indigestion.” I laughed.

  “Let’s not get that then. How about the house salad? We’ll probably be okay after that.”

  We got two salads and Niall followed my lead getting a Coke to drink. We chatted over our meal, mostly discussing what Niall thought of Belshire. He thought the country air was doing him good, but it was a total change of pace from what he was used to. I didn’t want him to be enjoying it, but it was nice to hear that there was something he liked about it. The place had been my home for the last five years and it did have its one or two charming points. The salads weren’t anything to write home about but they got the job done. We talked about his family home and the time he spent there before he ran away to New York.

  His upbringing hadn’t been warm. Being thousands of kilometers away in New York, his family never bothered to contact him, and he didn’t bother to contact them either. Unfortunately, it was the same for me.

  “Can I ask,” he started.

  “What?”

  “Your money issues, they’re kind of public knowledge.”

  “Are they?”

  “Maybe not public but there are people who know. People talk. Do you think the news has gotten to your parents? Have you talked to them about it at all?”