Admit You Love Me: A Secret Baby Romance (Irresistible Billionaires Book 2) Read online

  What now? Wait another five years to see her by chance again at another casino? What were the chances of that happening? We were in the same country now. We had to just see each other. I had an idea of where she was. She said that she was going to Belshire, wherever that was. That sounded like I had to go to. I couldn't just show up at our doorstep though, as much as I would like to. I needed some sort of excuse.

  I racked my brain. This wouldn't be a regular call. I needed a solid reason for my visit. Oh, what about the watch? That old thing? It had been a gift from Charlie, I didn't even buy it. It was vintage and a part of his collection though. I would say it was really nice and really valuable. Maybe I could say it was valuable enough to be a family heirloom. It wasn't, but I wouldn't tell her that. If I told her it was the watch of my uncle who had died in the war, she would have no choice but to give it back. That would surely be enough of a motivation to go all the way to Belshire to get it back. I couldn't care less about the watch, but if that was my end, I was taking it. I was going to Belshire.

  10

  Edwina

  How did drug dealers and prostitutes do it?

  I sat on my seat and the train, fidgeting again for the millionth time. I couldn't get comfortable. It had been like this the whole ride since London and there was still about 45 minutes left. I had the cash from selling the watch. It felt like a lead weight sitting in my handbag. Niall had told me that the piece was valued at 30,000 pounds, but I had only gotten ten thousand for it.

  I said only but that was the largest sum of money that I had had in my possession for months now. I hadn’t stopped thinking about how to allocate it to make it stretch for as long as it took for me to get a job. All of my accounts were in the negative, and I had gotten ten thousand pounds instead of thirty thousand pounds! I looked out of the window. I think I was and was not looking forward to going back home. The stress of my financial situation followed me no matter where I went, but it was all the more poignant at home.

  As if that wasn't enough to keep me occupied, I couldn't stop thinking about Niall. I ran away from home with no explanation after we left the birthday party. I wasn't proud but I needed to stop getting involved with him. He was consistently way to close to learning my secret and frankly messing around with him was something I did not have the luxury to do at the moment. I was trying to keep a life afloat. I thought about the money in my bag. If I was smart about it, we could get two to three months out of it. That needed to be enough time for me to find a job. That was the plan.

  Was it the right plan?

  It was the plan that I had made so it had to be the plan that worked out. We were pretty much out of options. Hopefully trusting myself in this instance did not go wrong.

  The train finally drew to a stop. I waited for the bulk of the passengers to leave before I exited onto the platform.

  “Mummy!” I heard. I braced myself for the excited four-year-old launching himself at me. I caught him and spun him around, cuddling him to my chest. My little boy. I kissed his cheeks and head. It had only been a short while that we had been separated but it was always too long when I couldn’t see his perfect little face. Riley was my world. The money in my bag was for him.

  “I’ve missed you, sweetie,” I said to him. Prue smiled walking up to us. “Prue, how are you?” I asked.

  “Very well, madam. Riley’s been excited to see you. He was asking to come to the train station since this morning.”

  “I hope he behaved himself,” I said, looking at my son. “Were you a good boy for Ms. Prue?” I asked him. He nodded his head, making his mop of ginger curls flop over his eyes.

  “How was your trip?” She asked, taking my bag from me. Prue Williams had worked at The Belshire estate for dog years. She was everything at once, nanny, housekeeper, custodian and one of my closest friends. She was the only staff still on payroll at the estate since we couldn’t afford to keep anyone else. I didn’t love leaving her with my son, but I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to.

  “It went well,” I said, as we started towards the car. I looked down at Riley, signaling to her that we would talk about it later when he was asleep. I strapped him into his car seat and got into the drivers’ seat. I handed Riley my phone to keep him occupied as we drove the ten minutes to the estate. I wanted to see my son and I wanted to see Prue too, but that was all. I didn’t want to be home. The house didn’t feel like home anymore. I wasn’t sure when it ever really did but now, when we were struggling, more and more unsure whether we were going to be able to continue living there, it was not home.

  I let us in. The house was large, not palatial but bigger than necessary with seven bedrooms and five bathrooms on three floors. It sat on acres and acres of land which had fallen into disrepair lately since we had had to let the groundskeepers go. Inside, it was almost empty. Most of the non-essential furniture, we had had to sell in order to settle Russell’s gambling debts. As it was, we didn’t use most of the rooms, but it felt especially empty without the furniture. I had plans to move us out, but I didn’t know how that even looked at this point. The estate was rightfully Riley’s, so I felt unsure about selling. Hopefully, it never came to that.

  “Riley, do you want to help with dinner?” I asked.

  “Can we have fish fingers and mash mummy?” He asked.

  “And what are we having with that? Broccoli?”

  He pulled a face. “Broccoli? Ew.”

  I laughed. “Snow peas?”

  “No!” He said, sulking.

  “Either you pick, or I pick,” I said. He sighed dramatically and went to the open fridge where Prue was waiting by the vegetable crisper. He picked a pack of mixed veggies and walked them over to me at the counter. I hoisted him up and we chatted as Prue and I prepared dinner. He was full of stories and questions. We were very close. With Russell, it had technically been a two-parent household, but he had left raising Riley almost solely up to me. Riley had been sad when Russell died but he didn’t even ask about him anymore. He recovered so fast, I wondered whether it was because he sensed Russell was never truly invested in raising him.

  He was tired by bath time. I excused Prue and did his routine myself. I peeked at his face, his eyes closing as I read him his story. He looked a lot like his father. It was scary sometimes. I was worried that Russell might notice at some point, but he never did. He was never paying enough attention to see what was right in his face. I found out that I was pregnant a couple of weeks after the night with Niall and I just knew. I knew. My gut told me that he was the father. I had never taken a test, but it was obvious. The timing was lucky because he was born about nine months after the honeymoon, but he wasn’t Russell’s boy. Honestly, I was glad that he wasn’t.

  “Thank you for him. An heir. I didn’t think we would be having one so soon.” Russell said that to me when Riley was born. Thank you for giving me an heir. What the hell kind of thing was that to say to your wife who had just given birth? Was that all he saw in the baby? An heir? Not a new little person who he was excited to get to know?

  He more or less ignored us from then, hiring nannies to help me and almost never seeing the baby. When I confronted him about it, he had just come home from a gambling bender.

  “Why don’t you want to spend time with the baby?”

  He was a mess, looked like he hadn’t slept in days and stunk of old body odor and booze. “Why must I join in on your little nursery games? Need another nanny, do you? Why on earth do you need so much help?”

  “I’m not asking you for help Russell, I am asking you to play a part in your child’s life.”

  “I never asked you to get pregnant. I never asked for a child. I never wanted to be a father.”

  “Well, it’s a little bit too late for that, isn’t it? He’s here now.”

  “And it’s your responsibility to take care of him.”

  “Why are you being like this? He’s your son.”

  “That doesn’t mean I owe him anything or that I owe you anything
for that matter. I needed a wife. My parents blocked my inheritance up in a trust and stipulated that the only way I would be able to access it was getting married and producing an heir.

  The revelation shook me to my core. Even though I knew the truth about our marriage, it was arranged, after all, I didn't know just how heartless Russell was. It disgusted me that he would take it out on our child like that. His parents knew what kind of a gambling addict he was and their measure to safeguard the money from him until he fell in line. Unfortunately for them, it didn't work. He was unscrupulous enough to marry a woman for no reason other than to unlock his inheritance, and my parents were money hungry enough to give up their daughter to that kind of a man. They wanted a title for their daughter but what good was a title with no money.

  The estate was history if I could not come up with the funds. If it was up to me and me alone, I would have given up all of this in a heartbeat, selling it off and going about my life but it wasn’t.

  Riley, at least on paper was the Baron of Belshire now.

  This was his estate and I intended to keep it in the family and make sure that this title that I had suffered so much for benefited him if not me.

  I went back downstairs to the kitchen after Riley was fast asleep. Prue was there finishing the washing up.

  “How did your trip go?” she asked.

  “Longer than it needed to be, I’m afraid, sorry about that.”

  “No problem at all. Were you able to sell the chips?” As the other adult resident of the estate, she knew all about the money problems.

  Not exactly, but I think I have enough here for the next couple of months. I opened up my handbag and showed her the money. She clapped her hands, laughing.

  “That's an absolute mint, how much is it?”

  “We are going to have to make it stretch, unfortunately.”

  The first thing on my list was depositing the money. I was negotiating with the bank. I wanted to keep the estate as intact as possible, but at this point, selling off some land was necessary. Getting rid of some of it would help in keeping the mortgage paid. There was so much and we didn't even use it, I could easily give up some. After that I needed a job. I had a niggling feeling. The number of jobs out there didn't pay enough, but I tried to push the thought from my mind.

  This was a fight unfortunately. I was the only person on my side, and I was fighting against years of Russell’s irresponsibility and malice. I wasn't going to run and get the best of me, not now when he was dead. This was a fight I was going to win.

  11

  Niall

  Belshire, it turned out, was about the size of my apartment in New York. I looked out the window driving down what seemed to be the main street. I had never even heard of the place and this was why. It was microscopic. It was a quaint, little village tucked away in the countryside about three hours out of London. I parked my car on the side of the road and got out, looking up and down the streets. It was so quiet. Having gotten used to living in New York City, it was a little unnerving to hear my thoughts clearly.

  So, this was where the Baroness lived!

  I needed to find her. Now that I was here, I wasn't that nervous about the prospect of locating her. I mean, the place was about as big as the estate that I grew up on. If I had managed to find her twice in London, locating her here would be no problem. The thing about small towns was, everyone tended to know each other. I walked up the street, passing a couple small shops until I came across a pub and walked in. There were a couple of people sitting at the bar. It looked much the same as the old-fashioned pubs in London, but with a homier, warmer feel. I took a seat at the bar. An old man sitting closest to me had a bulldog resting at his feet. Sitting at a table at the far end were a mother and her child, laughing over a board game.

  “New around these parts?” the barman asked coming up to me.

  “It’s that obvious, is it?” I asked.

  “Visitors are easy to spot. What can I get for you?” I ordered a pint.

  “I don't suppose you get many around these parts?”

  “You wouldn't be wrong,” the barman said handing me my pint. “What brings you here?”

  “I’m looking for the Baron's estate.”

  A frown crossed the man's face. “You'll be looking for Russell Nicholas? Well, unfortunately, we laid the Baron to rest a few months ago.”

  “I heard. It's not him I’m looking for in particular. It's the Baroness, his wife. I don't suppose you've heard about her?”

  “Oh, the lady. I've never seen her in here. Not much of a drinker. Her husband, on the other hand, was a frequent customer, unfortunately with women other than her. She's a decent sort. I see her sometime around town, with her little boy.”

  I choked on the beer going down my throat.

  “I’m sorry, did you say her little boy?” I asked, coughing. I coughed so hard, the man next to me stood up and pounded me on the back. I thanked him when I recovered.

  A son? Eddy had a son?

  I expected to find out a lot of stuff coming here, but not that. It was yet another thing that she had failed to mention. Thinking about it, I felt foolish. She and Russell had to have been married for at least five years which was plenty of time to have a son. I don't know why it never occurred to me before that she would be a mother.

  “You alright?” the barman asked.

  I nodded, taking some money out. “You were talking about the Baroness?”

  “I can't tell you much more about her than I already have. Seems like a lovely woman. It's a shame she's living out on the estate all alone these days. The way things looked when the Baron was still around, however, that might have been the theme throughout her marriage.”

  Small town gossip was dangerous. I wondered how much more the guy would spill if I had more time, but I didn't. I asked him if he could give me directions to the estate. He handed them over no problem.

  It would take about ten- or fifteen-minutes driving to get there. I was ten or fifteen minutes away from seeing Eddy again.

  I went out to my car and sat in the driver’s seat. One minute ticked by, then another, then one more.

  No, no way. I wasn't going there. What the hell was I going to do at the Baron's estate? Visit Eddy and her son? When I thought it was just her, this had been a completely different mission. She wasn't just another socialite who had married rich and ran around attending parties with her connected friends. She was a Baroness raising the next holder of her late husband’s title. No wonder she ran away in the middle of the night. I couldn’t just show up at her place if her son was there.

  This was a mistake. This mission was officially over. I was going back to London and then I was getting on a plane back to New York and then I was forgetting her forever.

  What the hell was I thinking coming here?

  My phone rang and interrupted the stream of my thoughts. I started the car and connected the Bluetooth.

  “Niall?” It was Charlie. Never in my life had I been so relieved to hear his voice.

  “Yeah? What's going on?”

  “You're asking me? Where the hell are you?”

  My guard went up; it was just a reflex whenever Charlie asked me that question. “Who wants to know?”

  “I do. We both do. Brenna and I are in London and we wanted to have dinner with you before we left the city.” I heard Brenna in the background of the call saying hi.

  “Left the city to go where?” I asked.

  “I’m taking Brenna out to the country to tour our family land.”

  That sounded terribly boring. It was exactly the sort of thing that Charlie and Brenna would do together. I was going to say that I would see him in London tonight, but I couldn't do it. I had come all this way, there was no way I could leave without at least seeing her. The prospect of leaving again stung much too deep for me to be able to do it without seeing her.

  “How about this? I'll link up with you two on your tour?”

  “Are you sure?”

&n
bsp; “I’m not in London right now.”

  “Where are you?”

  “I’ll talk to you later. There's something I have to do.” I hung up on him knowing that he would forgive me later, after a thorough interrogation. I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. Swinging off the main road, I followed the man's directions towards the Baron’s estate. After about ten minutes of driving, I came up to a modest manor house. Our estate was much larger, the house far grander. I got out of the car and surveyed the land. It didn’t look good. The grounds weren't kept. Closer to the house, the ivy that crept up the outside walls were growing out of control. If it wasn't for the car parked outside, I would have thought that the estate was abandoned.

  This was where Eddy lived.

  It was too late to back down now. I went up to the door and rang the bell. My heart started pounding and I shoved my hands in my pockets so that they wouldn't shake. This might have been the first time that Eddy and I were meeting on purpose instead of by mistake and that was making me nervous. I heard footsteps on the other side of the door and then it opened.

  An older woman, with a slightly surprised look on her face smiled out at me from the doorway. I felt my body release. I had been holding my breath in anticipation that it was Eddy.

  “May I help you, sir?”

  “Yes. Hello. I'm a guest of the Baroness. I'm here to see Eddy. I mean, Edwina. The Baroness.”

  “Who might I say is calling?”

  “I'm a friend of hers. Niall Bridges.”

  The woman nodded. “Allow me a moment to see whether the Baroness is available.”

  She slammed the door in my face before I could say that it was okay. I blanked, wondering whether it was just me. Usually, protocol dictated that the guest was shown inside and allowed to wait in a sitting room for the owner of the house to appear. Even I knew that, and I wholly rejected the stuffy, ancient manners that the aristocracy held onto. It wasn't like I could force my way in and redress the woman so I waited. A few minutes later, the door swung open and it was her. Her hair was up, and she was not dressed to receive but my body reacted to her presence again.