So Wrong (Heart 0f Hope Book 3) Read online

“I think it told Maisie that you understood she might be apprehensive and gave her a link to you. And you did it to help you feel better about it.”

  “You should be a shrink, not a teacher.”

  I shrugged. “I thought about it, but more school means more money.”

  He straightened. “Is money really a problem? You can get loans. I had a few when I went to college.”

  “I have some already. I plan to be a teacher, which doesn’t pay well, and so I don’t want to get into a situation in which I can’t live because all my pay goes to loan payments.”

  “Good point. I’d hate to lose you. Maisie will too.”

  His words warmed me. I knew he appreciated my work, but there was something more personal. Like he and Maisie liked me as a person.

  His smile fell. “I hope Veronica doesn’t get any ideas.”

  I wasn’t sure how we got to my babysitting to his ex. “About what?”

  “About taking Maisie.” He shook his head. “Nah, she’ll see that Maisie still takes a lot of time and send her home.”

  “You think she’d try to keep her?” My heart stalled in my chest. It was hard enough to think about leaving them in the fall, but to have her plucked out from under me now––I wasn’t ready.

  “She said something about wanting to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I want her to be a part of Maisie’s life, but Maisie is mine.” He looked at me. “Does that sound selfish?”

  “Maybe a little, but I understand. I’d feel the same in your shoes.”

  He sighed and rolled his shoulders. He still looked a bit agitated. I reached out and rubbed his shoulder.

  “You’re tight and tense. I can give you a massage.”

  He arched a brow. “Babysitter and masseuse?”

  “It will make up for the extra you paid me. I’m good at it. Just ask my roommates. I give them shoulder massages all the time.”

  He shrugged and turned his body so that his back was to me. I moved to my knees behind him and pressed my hands on his shoulders. They were thick and hard and hot. His scent was warm and manly. Immediately, I felt adrenaline surge through me.

  Working to distract myself from the excitement of touching him, I said, “Now you have time for yourself. What are going to do this weekend?”

  He laughed. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you have a hobby? Maybe a potential hot date?” I hoped he didn’t have the latter.

  He scoffed. “No hot date.”

  I bit my lip, not sure I should ask the question I was thinking. At the same time, I was dying to know. “Did you and Veronica really stay together when she’d visit?”

  He looked at me over his shoulder with a smirk. “Interested in my sex life, Tessa?”

  My blood heated, although I wasn’t sure if it was in embarrassment or his asking if I wanted to know about his sex life. Either way, my question was inappropriate.

  “Forget I said—”

  “We would occasionally hook up when she was in town. Not for a long time, though. No, these days I’m celibate. Maybe I could become a monk this weekend.”

  I snorted. “I don’t think Monks are as ripped as you.”

  He grinned. “You noticed I’m ripped?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Do you buy your clothes one size too small on purpose?” I poked him on his bicep, which filled the sleeve of his polo shirt like the Hulk about to bust out of his clothes.

  He held up his arm. “You’d never know I was the skinny kid that got beat up a lot, would you?”

  “Is that true?” I gaped at him.

  He sucked in a breath as if a bad memory came back to him. He put his arm down and turned his head forward again. “Yep. How about you? You got a hot date?”

  I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. “No.”

  “It’s Friday night. Surely you have plans with the girls to go out, live it up.”

  “Not tonight. We talked about going out tomorrow maybe.”

  He turned his head toward me again. “You must have a boyfriend.”

  “Why?”

  “Because. You’re young, pretty …”

  He thought I was pretty. My heart did a little flip even though my head said he was just being nice.

  “Thank you, but no. Too busy working and going to school.” I squeezed his shoulders again and then dug my thumbs into his shoulder blades.

  He groaned. “Ah, come on. I worked, went to school, played football and still had time to date in college.”

  “I suppose I’d have time if there was the opportunity.”

  “There have to be plenty of men out there who want to give you the opportunity.”

  I didn’t respond at first and instead kept massaging his shoulders. I felt a little uncomfortable discussing my love life, or lack thereof, with him. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know just how little opportunity I’d had.

  “A few guys have sniffed around, but … I don’t know. I just wasn’t interested.”

  “You’re one of those, huh?” he said with humor.

  “Those what?”

  “A woman with discerning taste. College men can be boneheads sometimes. I can’t blame you for avoiding them.”

  “Mostly, none are very interesting to me.” The truth, I realized in that moment, is that most of the men I met while in school or out with my roommates, I compared to Dylan, and none of them rose to his level of gentleness, kindness, or sexiness.

  “So … no hookups with attractive but dumb men?” he teased.

  “No hookups with any men.” I wasn’t sure why I said that. He didn’t need to know I was a virgin still.

  He frowned as looked over his shoulder at me. “Ever?”

  My heart hammered in my chest. I couldn’t fill my lungs with air. I stared at him as longing filled me. “No.”

  “You’re smart to wait for the right person.”

  Dylan Hyatt was nearly perfect, from his flawlessly sculpted body, sexy smile, and most attractive of all, the love he had for his daughter. But he was wrong about me. The reason I was still a virgin at twenty-three had nothing to do with waiting for Mr. Right, although if I was, he would be Dylan Hyatt.

  “I’m not waiting for my life mate,” I said, pressing my thumbs into the back of the nape of his neck as I massaged away the tension. I wondered if I could release more than his tension and make him forget his ex-wife.

  “Then what are you waiting for?” he asked, with a groan and sigh as I felt his muscles begin to relax.

  “Opportunity and desire.”

  6

  Dylan

  It was bad enough that I was thinking of my daughter’s babysitter naked when I jerked off in the shower more mornings than not, but to have the hardon to end all hardons at the idea she was a virgin was disturbing. But there it was. My libido going full tilt like some douchebag horny bastard. I was afraid to look down, as I was sure my dick’s head was sticking out of the waist of my pants it was so hard.

  I shifted and turned to look at her, not realizing until too late how close we were. She bit her lower lip and I wanted that pouty mouth around my cock. Fuck, I was an asshole.

  “I find it hard to believe you haven’t had both already,” I managed to say as I watched her lips.

  “Opportunity, yes, desire not so much.” Her green eyes seemed to darken. Was she turned on too?

  “You don’t feel desire? I can’t imagine there aren’t plenty of good-looking guys on campus or in the clubs.” I was immobilized even though my brain was blaring warning bells that I should get up and move away from this sexy woman.

  “Desire isn’t just about looks.”

  That was true. There was a time I desired Veronica, who was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. Today, it took more than beauty to entice me. Apparently, it took a sweet, fresh-faced woman … a virgin … to get me hot.

  “So, what gets your engine going, Tessa?” It was a dangerous question, and yet I couldn’t stop myself from asking it.

  “
Sculpted pecs.” She looked at my chest and I had to shift, as my dick was increasingly uncomfortable.

  “You should come to the gym. We’ve got lots of those.” What the hell was I saying? I didn’t want any of the men at the gym to touch her.

  “Kind. Smart. Funny.” She took a breath as if she was gathering courage. “Someone like you.”

  I’d been watching her lips again, but at her words, my gaze shot up to her face. Did she just say what I thought she did?

  “Me?”

  Her head bobbed once.

  “I’m too old for you.” My voice sounded thick to my ears. I had to get away, but holy fuck, she was into me, and clearly I was about to combust I was so hot for her.

  “Six years isn’t that big of a difference.”

  “In life experience it is.” I looked down as regret and a feeling of unworthiness filled me. “I’m a divorced single father.”

  “So?”

  I needed to end this conversation. I wanted her like I never wanted anyone, but it was wrong for so many reasons. I gathered my resolve to stop this. “You’re a young woman with her life ahead of her.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You make it sound like you don’t have anything to look forward in your life.”

  “I have baggage. A lot of it.”

  “Maisie isn’t baggage.”

  “I wasn’t talking about Maisie. She’s the best thing in my life. My life is hers now. Totally and completely. I have nothing to offer a woman. You deserve to have a man who can give you all of himself. Especially the first time.”

  She frowned. “So you’ve given up on ever finding love again?”

  We had this discussion the other day. I thought I’d been clear on my thoughts of ever loving again.

  “I’ve had step-parents.” The image of my last step-father whipping off his belt to use it on me flashed in my head. “I won’t put Maisie through that. And I certainly don’t want my heart stomped on again.”

  At first, her expression suggested she understood or empathized, but then she shook her head in annoyance. “How come men are able to have sex because it’s enjoyable, but for a woman it needs to be some sort of fairy tale?”

  “It doesn’t. But a woman who has waited as long as you, usually does so for a reason.” There was no way she’d saved herself for me. Or if she had, it was because she saw me a lot. I was convenient. Clearly, she hadn’t been around other men very often. If she had, she’d have found someone else more worthy. Someone who would give her the time and attention she deserved.

  “You’ve had experience in this, have you?”

  I smiled sheepishly. “Actually, no. But having gotten to know you over the last year, I can see you’re not an impulsive woman. Everything you do is with a plan. Men, on the other hand, tend to be a slave to urges. It’s like an itch.”

  “You don’t think women have urges?”

  “Yes. But they’re also able to control them. As you clearly do.”

  She’d leaned forward, and for a moment I was held captive by her sweet scent. But then she shifted back and away, and her eyes looked down.

  “I’ve hurt your feelings,” I said, hating that I was having to reject and hurt her.

  “It’s not your fault that you don’t find me attractive.”

  What? “I never said that.” It wasn’t true. I found her wildly attractive.

  She pursed her lips in annoyance. “You just said men can’t control their urges. If that’s true, it means you have no … urge around me.”

  I stared at her as I battled within myself on whether to show her just how attractive she was to me.

  “I have an urge,” I admitted.

  “Don’t patronize me,” she said with the heat of anger.

  “You don’t believe me?”

  “No.”

  Again, a tug-of-war waged in my brain. I hated the idea that she thought I was humoring her. I wanted her to know that what I was saying was true. I was about to come in my pants I was so turned on by her. Knowing I shouldn’t do anything, I took her hand and pressed it over my aching dick.

  I let out a groan as she slid her fingers around it like she was gauging its girth, then ran her hand along the length.

  I hissed a breath, working to keep from coming then and there. I wasn’t going to follow through. I just wanted her to know she affected me. “See? Urge.”

  She looked into my eyes. In hers, I saw desire.

  “I want to see you,” she said, breathlessly.

  “Tessa …”

  She squeezed my dick hard, making me gasp. “I’m not asking for something you can’t give.”

  “You don’t know what you’re asking.” My voice sounded rough in my ears. I focused on the fact that we couldn’t do this, even though I was desperate to rip our clothes off and pound away inside her until I filled her with my cum. I reminded myself that as a virgin, she’d never done this before and didn’t know the ramifications.

  “I do. I’m not naïve, just inexperienced. I want to learn. I want you to teach me.” She stroked my dick again, and my brain started to go haywire.

  “Ah, fuck, Tessa.”

  “I’ve had orgasms before. I think of you when I do.”

  “Jesus … you don’t play fair.” My breathing was harsh as I looked at her and imagined her touching herself while thinking of me.

  “I’m not playing, Dylan.” She took my hand and put it over her breast. It was perfection; soft, full. Her nipple was hard under my palm and I desperately wanted to suck it

  “I’m wet, too.”

  I growled, as my fingers pinched her nipple and I knew, just knew I wouldn’t, couldn’t walk away from this.

  “We’re going to regret this.” Then my mouth was over hers, drinking in those sweet full lips. She gripped my head like she never wanted me to stop. I slid my hands under her shirt, pushing it up. She yanked it off, tossing it aside as I undid the front clasp of her bra and freed her tits.

  “Fuck.” They were perfect. I looked up from those magnificent globes to her face. “You have amazing tits.” I couldn’t wait a single second more. I sucked on her nipple, loving the way her hard nub fit in my mouth.

  She let out a gasp and held my head to my breast. Each time I sucked, she let out a whimper and her hips rocked.

  She tugged at my shirt. Yes, skin to skin, that’s what I needed. I grabbed the back of my shirt over my head and yanked it off.

  Her hands pressed over my pecs and she lifted her head, flicking her tongue over my nipple, making me hiss in response.

  “Tessa …” God, this was wrong.

  I needed to stop it, but her fingers were undoing my jeans and sliding down the zipper. She ran her finger over the tip of my dick, making me see stars.

  “Jesus,” I groaned as the tether on my control slipped. In a flurry of movement, we finished undressing. I pushed her sexy, soft body back on the couch, and then went back to sucking those beautiful tits. She reached between us, wrapping her hand around my dick.

  “I want you,” she gasped as she moved her hips to meet my dick.

  I reached for the condom packet I’d tossed on the coffee table when I’d shucked my pants off. I tore the foil and rolled it on. I looked at her, noting the rapt desire in her eyes as she watched me sheath myself.

  I knelt between her legs on the couch, lifting one of her legs over the back of the couch, and the other over my thigh. Her pussy was wet and pink and so fucking beautiful.

  “Be sure, Tessa.” Jesus, if I did this and she regretted it, I’d never be able to live with myself.

  “I’m sure.” Her hips lifted to meet my dick.

  Need roared through me like a freight train. She’s a virgin, I reminded myself. I couldn’t take her like the crazed horny maniac I was feeling like. “I’m going to try to take it slow, but fucking hell, I’m dying here.”

  “Just do it.” I heard desperation that matched mine.

  “It might hurt,” I said as I ran the tip of my dick through her folds and
brushed over her pink, hard clit.

  She cried out. “Please, Dylan.” She squeezed her eyes shut as if her need was consuming her.

  Well, that made two of us. But holy hell, I shouldn’t be doing this. She was Maisie’s babysitter. I was her boss. This was her first time.

  She opened her eyes and looked up at me.

  “Tessa.”

  “Fuck me, Dylan.”

  Those words sent an inferno through me. I growled. “I’m going to hell for sure.” I pushed the head of my dick inside her and nearly wept with the sweet tight heat that enveloped it. She moaned and her pussy massaged my tip. At least I knew she was with me on this.

  “Yes … so good … more,” she said on a sigh.

  I withdrew and then pushed forward, this time sliding a little further until I hit a barrier. She’d already been snug, but I knew when I broke through, it would be so fucking sweet and tight.

  “You’re so fucking tight.” I squeezed my eyes shut to keep from losing control and simply fucking her hard and fast. I took in a couple of deep breaths to help me stay in control and be attentive to her. This would probably hurt her. I looked down on her. She nodded, letting me know she was ready. Jesus, she was so beautiful and sweet. She deserved a man who would give her the world. That man wasn’t me.

  I looked away and withdrew. “I’m sorry … I can’t.”

  7

  Tessa

  What? No. I reached for him where he was still kneeling between my legs. “I’m sorry … what am I doing wrong?”

  He groaned in what sounded like frustration and self-loathing. “Nothing, honey. Fuck.” He scraped his hands over his face and then looked at me, his eyes soft and apologetic. “I’m sorry. I can’t take this from you. I want to. I’m dying with wanting you, but—”

  “You’re not taking anything from me,” I said, feeling both angry and vulnerable with my legs spread open while he was rejecting me. He was sitting on his heels looking down at me, his dick still hard as it jetted from his body. “I’m giving it to you.”

  “I’m not worthy. You deserve—”

  “I deserve to be taken at my word,” I snapped, covering my breasts with my hands to try and protect myself.